Tom spent 25 grueling years in the stressful liquor business before finally quitting to buy 50 acres of land in the absolute middle of nowhere, Alaska. For six months, his only contact with humanity was a weekly mail delivery, and he absolutely loved the total peace and quiet.
Then, out of nowhere, a massive, bearded mountain man knocked on his cabin door.
“Name’s Lars,” the giant bellowed. “I’m your neighbor from forty miles up the trail. Having a holiday party this Friday around 5:00 PM, and figured you might want to come.”
“Wow, thanks!” Tom said, genuinely excited. “After six months of isolation, I’m definitely ready to meet some local folks.”
Lars turned to leave, but stopped. “Gotta warn you, though… there’s gonna be some heavy drinking.”
“Not a problem,” Tom smiled. “After 25 years in the liquor trade, I can out-drink the best of them.”
Lars took another step, then paused again. “More than likely, there’s gonna be some rough fighting, too.”
Tom shrugged. “Well, I’m a pretty easygoing guy. I’ll just stay out of trouble.”
The big man nodded, turned back one last time, and lowered his voice. “And there’s almost certainly gonna be some wild, uninhibited sex.”
Tom’s eyes lit up. “Now that is definitely not a problem! I’ve been entirely alone out here for half a year. Count me in! By the way, what should I wear?”
Lars shrugged his massive shoulders and replied:
“Don’t much matter, buddy… it’s just gonna be the two of us.”
