Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off.
Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologise.
“Hello, darling,” he said, “what are you making for dinner?”
“What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner?? Poison, that’s what I’m making, poison.”
Bernie replies, “Okay then, just make one portion, I’m not coming home.”
Next Joke….
A bricklayer at a construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. “I’m sick and tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day. “Tonight, I’ll set my wife straight.”
The next day, the men could hardly wait until lunchtime to hear what happened. “You bet I told her off,” the bricklayer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.”
He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut and a hammer.
