Round 1: The Gambler’s Education
Little Johnny always had a unique perspective on academics, mostly because his education was heavily managed by his father.
On the first day of school, the teacher decided to test his basic math skills. “Johnny, do you know your numbers?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Johnny nodded proudly. “My dad taught me everything.”
“Wonderful! Let’s see. What comes after three?”
“Four,” Johnny replied instantly.
“Excellent. And what comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Perfect!” the teacher beamed, thrilled with his progress. “Your dad did a fantastic job. Now, for the big one: what comes after ten?”
Johnny didn’t even hesitate: “Jack.”
Round 2: Lost in Translation
The high school’s stunning new Spanish teacher had no idea that her very first lecture would end in a physical confrontation between a student and the administration.
Wanting to evaluate her teaching style, the school principal decided to sit in on the class, taking an empty desk right next to Little Johnny.
A few minutes into the lesson, the teacher walked up to the chalkboard and wrote a long sentence in Spanish. Suddenly, she dropped her chalk. As she bent over to pick it up, her fitted skirt rode up quite a bit.
When she stood back up, she turned to the class and asked, “Now, who can translate the sentence on the board for me?”
Little Johnny’s hand shot into the air. “I can, ma’am! It means: ‘If that skirt was any shorter, I’d definitely hit it.'”
The teacher’s face turned bright red with fury. “Johnny! That is disgusting, vulgar, and completely unacceptable! Pack your bags and get out of my classroom right now!”
Fuming, Johnny stood up and began stuffing his notebooks into his backpack. But just before he walked out the door, he lifted his heavy Spanish textbook and slammed it right over the principal’s head.
“And you, mister,” Johnny hissed at the dazed principal, “if you don’t know real Spanish, keep your damn mouth shut!”
