Child Convinces His Principal to Let Him Skip Two Grades by Answering Unusual Questions
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was he replied, “I’m too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than her too.”
The teacher took him to the principal’s office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question he would have to go back to the first grade and be quiet. The teacher and Johnny both agreed.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Johnny: “9.”
Principal: “6 x 6?”
Johnny: “36.”
And so it went on like this, the principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour he told the teacher “I see no reason Johnny can’t go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right.”
The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agree.
Teacher: “What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?”
Johnny: “Legs”
Teacher: “What do you have in your pants that I don’t have?”
The principal gasps but before he can stop him from answering Johnny says, “Pockets.”
Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Johnny: “Pants.”
Teacher: “What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?”
Johnny: “Firetruck.”
The principal breaths a big sigh of relief and says “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself.”
The Wifi Password
A man goes into a bar in the airport and asks the bartender what the password is to their wi-fi.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3
Me: There you go. So, what’s the wi-fi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
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A Blonde Interview
A young blonde woman goes to an office for a job interview. The interviewer decides to start with the basics
“So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?” He asks.
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying “Ehh… 25!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?” The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot three!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics.
“And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “Stephanie”.
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”
“Oh that!” replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”
A Beautiful Young Woman Wearing A Tight Skirt.
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus.
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her embarrassment, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
About this time, an elderly man who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
The went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched,
“How dare you to touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!”
The elderly guy smiled and drawled,
“Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends.”
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A Young Man Starts Out To Impress Someone And Ends Up Learning A Lesson On Love
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a birthday present. The next day when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. “Is this your car, Mister?” he asked.
Paul nodded. “My brother gave it to me for my birthday.” The boy was astounded. “You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish…” He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
“I wish,” the boy went on, “that I could be a brother like that.”
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added,
“Would you like to take a ride in my automobile?”
“Oh yes, I’d love that.”
After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, “Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?”
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. “Will you stop where those two steps are?” the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while, Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother.
He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
“There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for his birthday and it didn’t cost him a cent. And someday I’m gonna give you one just like it … then you can see for yourself all the pretty things that I’ve been trying to tell you about.”
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride.
That day, Paul learned what “It is more blessed to give” meant.
A Tip Of $10,000
A poor, young waiter was working when a wealthy old man came into the restaurant.
The waiter spent a lot of effort to recommend the best food and drink the restaurant had to offer hoping this would earn him a big tip.
But in the end, the rich man ordered only a sandwich and lemonade.
Knowing that a small bill meant a small tip,
The waiter walked away somewhat disappointed.
After finishing his food, the rich man asked for the check.
When the young waiter came, the rich man noticed there was sadness in his eyes.
He asked, “Is everything okay, son? Are you having a hard day?”
“I’m having a hard life, Sir” the waiter replied.
Then the waiter continued his job, not thinking of anything.
When he returned to the table of the rich man and found a tip of $10,000.
The waiter ran to catch the wealthy man,
Just as he was getting into his car, he asked, “Why did you do this?”
The old man replied, when I was your age, I struggled in restaurants like these,
A wealthy man once gave me such a tip that it paid for my college tuition.
I hope that this money will help you as it had helped me”
The young man was speechless and in tears. “Sir, you’ve just paid for my mother’s cancer treatment.”
“Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have”.
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