“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up”, said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?”, inquired the teacher with a sneer.

“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

How Much For A Season Pass?

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

“All male students will be prohibited from using the female hostel, and female students will be prohibited from using the male dormitory.”

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100.

Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200.
Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, “How much for a season pass?”

How To Have A Talking Clock

A student was lucky to find decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house.

“This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room … ”

“And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?” one of his colleagues asked.

“This is a talking clock.”

“I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?”

“Sure. Look,” the student said.

He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength.

Then a voice was heard from the other side:

“What are you doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!”