A few decades ago, an American, a Russian, and an Australian were having dinner.

The American says “We are so advanced, we have built airplanes that can go to outer-space.”

The other two ask, “What? Outer-space?”.

The American says, “Not exactly, but just a few inches below”.

After some time, the Russian says, “We are so advanced, we built a submarine that touches the seabed”.

The other two ask, “What? The actual seabed?”.

The Russian says, “Not exactly, just a few inches higher”.

Then, the Australian says, “Well, we have been advanced for centuries. For example, we can pee with our belly buttons!”

The other two ask, “what? Belly button?”. The Australian says, “Well, not exactly, just a few inches lower.”

Two Australian Were Out Hunting

Two West Australian rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along when they came upon a huge hole in the ground.

They approached it and were amazed at its size.

The first hunter said.

“Wow, that’s some hole. I can’t even see the! bottom. I wonder how deep it is.”

The second hunter said.

“I don’t know. Let’s throw something down there, listen, and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”

The first hunter said.

“Hey, there’s an old automobile gear box over there. Give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see.”

So they picked up the gearbox, carried it over to the hole, counted one-two-three and heaved it in.

They were standing there looking over the edge of the hole and listening when they heard a rustling behind them.

As they turned around, they saw a goat come crashing through the underbrush, run-up to the hole and without hesitation, jump in headfirst.

While they were standing there staring at each other in amazement, they peered into the hole, trying to figure out what that was all about.

Just then an old farmer sauntered up.

“Say there.” Said the farmer.

“You fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”

The first hunter said.

“Funny you should ask. We were just standing here a minute ago, and a goat came running out of the bushes doing about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!”

The old farmer said.

“Naw, that’s impossible. I had him chained to a gearbox.”

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