Three elderly Catholic priests gathered for dinner one evening to discuss the heavy burdens of their calling.
“It is exhausting always being the one who listens to everyone else’s dirty laundry,” one priest sighed. “I can only confess my own sins to the Bishop, and he only visits our parish once a year.”
The others nodded in solemn agreement. Suddenly, the second priest had a brilliant idea. “Wait a minute! We all have the power of absolution. Why don’t we just confess our deepest secrets to each other right now?”
After some hesitant murmurs, the first priest stepped up. “Alright, I’ll go first. I have a terrible gambling addiction. To fund my habit, I frequently steal cash straight out of the church alms box.”
The other two gasped in shock, but after a moment, they offered him their forgiveness.
The second priest cleared his throat nervously. “Well, brother, your sin is nothing compared to mine. I am an absolute, uncontrollable womanizer. There isn’t a single woman in my parish between the ages of 18 and 85 that I haven’t slept with.”
The others stared at him with wide eyes, but keeping to their pact, they shook their heads and granted him absolution as well.
Finally, they both turned to the third priest, a frail 90-year-old who was sweating profusely and desperately trying to shrink into his chair. He refused to speak, but after several minutes of intense coaxing and peer pressure, he finally yielded.
“Alright, alright!” the old priest whimpered. “My greatest sin is that I am an absolute, notorious, incurable gossiper… and I honestly cannot wait to get out of this room.”
