An Arab and his wife are at midpoint on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.
The Arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah’s help.
All to no avail, the camel refuses to move.
The wife who was standing at the rear end of the camel says, “hang on, I’ll try this”.
Suddenly the camel got up and raced off towards the sandy horizon. The Arab asks his wife what she had done, and the wife replied
“I just kicked him hard between his rear legs on that bag like thing that hangs there”.
The Arab with a look of resignation bends over and touches his toes with his arse facing the wife and says “go ahead, do it”
She says “do what?” and he replies ” kick me in the same place because I’ve got to catch the bloody thing”
A very modest man was in the hospital undergoing a series of tests, one of which left his digestive system in complete disarray.
After several false alarms, he assumed the latest urge to go to the bathroom was another false call and decided to stay in bed.
Unfortunately, he was wrong. He suddenly soiled the bed in a way that left him utterly mortified and unable to think clearly.
In his panic, he leapt out of the bed, grabbed the soiled sheets, and hurled them out of the hospital window in a desperate attempt to rid himself of the evidence.
Outside, an old drunk happened to be staggering by when the sheets landed squarely on him.
Startled and confused, the man began yelling, cursing, and flailing his arms in a frantic attempt to get the mysterious, smelly “attack” off him. In the chaos, he managed to untangle himself, leaving the soiled sheets in a heap on the ground.
As he stood there, swaying unsteadily and staring down at the mess in disbelief, a hospital security guard, who had witnessed the entire scene and was struggling to keep a straight face, approached him and asked, “What on earth is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring at the pile of sheets, replied with wide-eyed sincerity: “I think I just beat the sh!t out of a ghost.”