Equipping an elderly couple with smartphones is always a high-stakes gamble, especially when one is a hopeless romantic and the other is a brutally literal pragmatist.
One afternoon, while out for coffee with a friend, the wife decided to test her newly acquired texting skills to inject a little poetic passion into her decades-long marriage. Sitting at the cafe, she sent her husband a deeply sentimental message:
“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you.”
A minute later, her phone buzzed. Her heart fluttered as she eagerly opened the screen, only to find his unfiltered, rapid-fire response:
“I am currently on the toilet. Please advise.”
