A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife n@ked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s wrong?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,
“Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bastard,” says the husband,
“My wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”
😂😂
Two Blondes and a Lightbulb
Two blondes are working at a warehouse…
One blonde, tired of working, says to the other: “Watch this, I’m going to act crazy so that the boss will send me home.”
She climbs up the racking and hangs from the rafters yelling “I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB, I’M A LIGHTBULB!!”
“What are you doing?! Get down from there and GO HOME!” shouts the boss.
The second blonde picks up her toolbag and heads towards the door. “Where in the HELL do you think you’re going??” the boss exclaims.
“Well, I can’t work in the dark!”
A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan.
A blonde woman goes to a bank in New York before going on vacation and asks for a loan of $5,000.
The banker asks, “Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?”
The woman says, “Yes, of course. I’ll use my Rolls Royce.”
The banker, stunned, asks, “A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?”
The woman is absolutely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers mock her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it for two weeks in your underground car park.
When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.
The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?”
The woman replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
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Lawyer Tried To Outsmart Cop Him Up In The Court Room – Officer Gave The Best Comeback EVER
Question: “Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
Answer: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person who matching with the offender’s description, running several blocks away.”
Question: “Officer — who provided this description for you?”
Answer: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Question: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?”
Answer: “Yes, sir. With my life.”
Question: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes to prepare your daily tasks?”
Answer: “Yes sir, we do!”
Question: “And do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes sir, I do.”
Question: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
Answer: “Yes sir.”
Question: “Now why is it, officer? If you trust your fellow officers with your life, you feel it is necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
Answer: “You see, sir — we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
