A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
‘Don’t move until I tell you,’ she said. ‘Pretend you’re a statue.’
‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room
‘Oh, it’s a statue,’ she replied.
‘The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.’
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen, and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
‘Here, have this’ he gives the sandwich and beer to the statue.
Then he said to the statue: ‘I stood like that for two days at the Smiths’ house and nobody offered me anything!!’
If you enjoyed this story, you should check out this one too, which I came across on another site a while ago.
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The husband is behind the wheel.
His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing.
He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.
The wife speaks again. “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.”
She says, “Because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.”
Again the husband stays quiet but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.
She pushes her luck.
“I want a house.” She says insistently.
Up to 60 mph.
“I want the car, too.” She continues.
65mph.
“And,” she says, “I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, and the boat!”
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes her nervous, so she asks him, “Isn’t there anything you want?”
The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
“No, I’ve got everything I need, ” he says.
“Oh, really,” she inquires. “So what have you got?”
Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles.
“The airbag!”
